New Year's Resolution--Defeat the Enemy Within

To look at Jessica*, you'd never guess what she faces on a daily basis. Long, rich brown hair, a lean well-shaped figure, and a smile that could light New York City. Yet, a deadly killer lives inside her--growing. In her second bout of cancer, Jessica fights a battle against the enemy within.

When I asked how she was doing and how I could pray, Jessica said simply, "Pray that God blesses all I'm doing to get this out of me." To defeat the cancer, Jessica has radically changed her life. She follows a strict nutritional regimen, exercises, and has retrained herself on managing stress. She knows her healing is ultimately in God's hands, but she endeavors to live a daily response to His healthy principles in the hopes that her body will fight off this killer.

In talking with her, I realize we are really no different. We both have an enemy within that threatens to destroy. We both ultimately rest in Jesus for our healing. At the same time we both have a daily duty to reorient our lives to respond to God's life-giving.

At this Christmas season, I live in awe of a God who would give up heaven, the adoration of angels, and limitlessness to come to a dirty stable, filled with mocking people, and be constrained by the helplessness of a newborn. Jesus did all this to personally say, "I love you, and I want you to know Me." I came to be here. . .with you.

I live in greater awe that He came as the means, not just of sharing life, but of saving us from the enemy in us. That He chooses to live in us to defeat that enemy.

I see Jessica's desperation. She knows her life is on the line. She has responded by fully committing to a way that leads to life. I pray to be that desperate.

I pray my desperation leads me to walk more closely with Christ. Knowing all He has already done, I pray that I can use this coming year to cooperate in His work in me more fully. To radically change my life and my lifestyle to be in full conformity with Him.

I pray for the daily commitment to looking into His eyes to see whether my actions please Him. To ask myself daily:

• Am I showing grace to my husband, children, friends, and strangers? 
• Are my reactions bathed in patience and gentleness? 
• Am I spending the best moments of my day talking with Jesus about His plans for my day and then the rest of the moments obediently carrying those out? 
• Am I willing to accept unanswered prayers and disappointments as a necessary part of God's plan rather than seeing them as a failure of God to reward me as I deserve? 
• Am I living for God or for me? 

As I look to the coming year--I long for so many things. That diversity can scatter my focus and leave me unproductive. Jessica has offered a lesson in focus. I resolve this year to pray daily for a dependency on God's work in me and a willingness to engage in those efforts in my control to live for Christ and for His work to bring healing and life to my soul. I pray for defeat of the enemy within.


* Name changed.


Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

3 Tips to Prevent Meltdown at Christmas Gatherings

Tis the season to see friends and family, attend special programs, and tour the lights. As our family sat around the dinner table the other night, a question came up, "What are your favorite family traditions?" Everyone named a Christmas tradition--a few simply said, "All the stuff we do at Christmas."

Yet, as special as those events can be--all too often they can lead to meltdowns. Tantrums, crying spells, extra fighting--and that's just the parents. What can we do to keep the "special" in special events?

Children (and parents) misbehave most often when they are tired, hungry, or out of their routine. The key to preserving the joy of family events is to think ahead for each of these.

Aim to keep family members rested. Whether the family attends a special concert or a neighborhood party, special events tend to go past bedtimes. With darkness descending ever earlier--the toll is even greater. When parents know that evening's activities will likely keep children up too late, including a rest in the daily schedule may be the key to preserving the evening fun. As home schoolers we have the advantage of orienting the day to match life. Too often the realization of upcoming breaks persuades us to try to squeeze every last math problem or research paper out of our children before the break begins. Added to the increased strain holidays bring with their added commitments and activity, that can be the last straw.

Better approach--recognize that January through March offer long days with not much else to do but school. Save the push for the winter months and enjoy the wonder and joy of Christmas. On our third year of home schooling, (because we still had only young learners) we opted to take the month of December to devote to enjoying Christmas. We made crafts, baked goods for gifts baskets, read great books on the history and meaning of both Christmas and Christ's birth from a variety of perspectives. We took on special projects to minister to neighbors. The lighter approach meant less strain and more enjoyment. Even though we can't take the month anymore--we do focus on core subjects rather than the full schedule. More, I do include rest times for the younger members, even if it's just an hour in bed reading. This keeps the energy going when special events run late.

Aim to prevent hunger. Special events often center on food--but the timing can be very different than your home meal schedule. A package of cheese crackers or baggie of almonds can make all the difference. When children, or spouse, starts getting grumpy because their stomach is growling and the host won't serve food for another hour--pull out the reserve snacks and head off melt-downs.

Aim to preserve routine. The thing about special events? They're . . .special. Out of the ordinary. Out of the routine. Children thrive on routine. Routine offers security, predictability, and signals for how to act. Deprived of these--children can feel like they are in a metaphorical free-fall. Not the best feeling for inducing good behavior.

We can help by offering the benefits of routine--even when routine is missing. Before going into Grandma's for the family party or the concert hall, remind children of behavioral expectations: use manners, give adults the seats and sit on the floor, listen to others, etc. If children only see family members at Christmas, offer reminders as to who they will see and how they are connected. You might also offer interesting details that allow your children to connect. Let children know how long you will be there and what to expect during the event.

Just as important--keep your December calendar in front of you at all times. When a friend calls to invite you for a neighborhood gathering, check the calendar. Don't just look to see if you are booked. Look to see how many other nights are booked. Preserve nights to be home and rest. You can even take the time to block out nights at the beginning of the month to ensure time at home. 

Tis the season to enjoy family, friends, and special events. By remembering the triggers for misbehavior and preparing ahead, we can help keep the "special" in special events. We trade tears and tantrums for wonderful family memories.


Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

Dressing For Success

"Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right."

Proverbs 20:11 (NIV)

Want to make a good first impression and then maintain an impeccable reputation, too? Do you want your life to be a true success?

There's no big secret to it.  Really.  It all comes down to what you wear.  That's right--what you wear.

Now, before you decide somebody snatched my brain, let me explain.

Of course, true success starts with becoming one of God's people.  As His people, we represent Jesus--as His Ambassadors--not only to our family but to everyone we know, everywhere we go.  And we must dress accordingly.  So what do His Ambassadors wear?

Here's what one of the original Ambassadors of Christ wrote about it to the church at Colosse. 

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, 

clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)

Our foundational garment, which gives us a heart-level makeover, is the righteousness of Christ exchanged for our filthy rags of unrighteousness.  From there, godly fashion dictates that there are layers meant to be worn with it--compassion, kindness, humility gentleness, patience, and forgiveness.  And unlike our underwear, all of these lovely things should be showing.  Finally, crowning them all, the top layer is love.

Interestingly, this dress code reads a lot like the list of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23.  Getting properly dressed is a glorious combination of our cooperation and the Spirit's power.

Remember the story of the emperor who thought he was dressed in fancy new clothes but wasn't actually dressed at all?  How many times have we walked around, in fashion just as ridiculous, wearing nothing but our spiritual underclothes, so to speak, and a name-tag that says "Christian," while we're missing the rest of our necessary Ambassador attire?  Or worse yet, are there times we're still wearing the uniform of a soldier from our arch enemy's army--the very things we have been commanded to put off and lay aside?  ". . . Let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light" (Romans 13:12b NASB).

When we get dressed each morning, and every time we catch our reflection throughout the day, let's remember the dress code for Ambassadors.  When our work gets strenuous or the discussions heat up, let's not be tempted to shed the layers that are essential to our identity as Ambassadors of the King.  If we aren't properly dressed, no one will be inclined to take us seriously when we talk about Jesus--not our families or anyone else.

Let's teach our children by example what true dressing for success really means.

Who's with me for a good, deep closet cleaning?

P.S.  Fellow moms and dads, I'm thinking perhaps we could use clothing layers, some labels, and a touch of drama to make these truths come alive for our children. . .

Further food for thought or for sharing with your children:

II Corinthians 5:17-21  old and new, ambassadors, our sin exchanged for His righteousness
Colossians 3:1-17  new life, putting aside, putting something new on
James 1:21-25  what to lay aside, what to accept, the concept of a mirror, a life that's blessed
Ephesians 4:22-32  what to lay aside, what to put on
Hebrews 12:1-2  what to lay aside, endurance

For your convenience, each reference in the list above is linked to an on-line Bible.

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, singing, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her original 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Power Words for Parents--On a Mission

I love words. Words that inspire. Words that convict. Words that encourage. I especially love words that get my children to do what I ask.

In reading a blog post from the National Center for Biblical Parenting (NCBP), I found such a phrase. "On a mission." Scott Turansky, co-founder of NCBP, encourages parents to frame instructions to children, "You are on a mission to ________," fill in the gap with instruction.

I have to admit that when I first read this, I thought it was kind of cheesy. I envisioned our children giving a funny look and asking, "Seriously, Mom?"

Then, one night I instructed our two youngest to head to bed. Five minutes later they were still handing out kisses, looking for stuffed animals, and locating books. Without even thinking I said, "Guys--you're on a mission to get to bed." They bounded up the steps and were quietly tucking in before I could blink.

It worked? It worked!

It continues to work. I have added a bit of explanation. "Kiddos--when Daddy or I give you instruction, you already know it's your job to obey. By obeying us, you practice obeying God. I want you to think of each instruction as a mission. Your job--complete your mission with focus, purpose, and honor."

Going to bed, emptying the dishwasher, feeding the sheep take on a whole new meaning as the children consider their daily chores practice for the bigger missions God will send. Most of all, I love how this phrase shapes their hearts toward enthusiastic obedience.

"On a mission." Words to inspire; words to convict; words to encourage. May we all be "on a mission" to obey.