Curing Overwhelmed Home Schooling Parent Syndrome

Two years into our home schooling journey--I was wiped out. New baby, meeting needs of our variety of children, learning how to teach much less what to teach--all while still trying to be a good wife and keep the house going--it was overwhelming. I wasn't sure I could keep going, yet I was very sure God wanted this for our family. What could I do?

A friend encouraged me to attend the IAHE convention. She said it was the boost she needed every year. "But, I went before we started home schooling. I got absolutely overwhelmed by the curriculum hall!" I shared with her. She offered some strategies for attacking the curriculum hall, but then noted that shopping for curriculum was secondary to her. Attending the workshops was her first priority, and the support she needed.

Mike and I went. I got the boost I needed. We've attended nearly every year since--including the year the convention fell 5 days after a baby was born. It's become THAT important. Some benefits of attending:

Incredible speakers to inform and encourage--The year my friend talked me into trying the convention, Mike and I perused the schedule looking for the most relevant workshops. A few we wanted to hear occurred at the same time, so Mike attended one while I went to one featuring Inge Canon. She detailed the developmental stages of boys and how to teach to those stages. As my biggest challenges were in how to teach to my two boys--I went. The session took place just before lunch. I was so excited as I shared all I learned with my husband throughout our hurried lunch, he grabbed my program, marked out the other sessions we had planned to attend, and had me go to the rest of Mrs. Canon's sessions. It was eye opening and life changing. All these years later I still go back to what I learned from her.

The convention is packed with speakers--speakers who have faced many of the same challenges we do, who have sought God, and who will share the answers He's given them with us. Whether we learn something for the first time or are simply reminded of a truth we know but have stopped applying, the convention offers a great opportunity to be built up through the body of Christ.

Bonding with my spouse--When we entered the convention hall, the first thing that struck my husband and me? All the men. Mike went with me knowing how nervous I was and to support me. But, he really didn't expect a lot of other dads. To see so many couples working together on their children's training, that was inspiring. 

Because my husband had to work so hard to support our family, he couldn't be involved in much of the day-to-day school. But, attending the convention together gave us time to plan together the goals for the coming year. He heard the same encouragements and challenges I did and could  better affirm me in the process throughout the year. Plus, it was great to get away for a day together.

Professional development--Attending the convention reminds me that this is my vocation. By setting aside a weekend to pursue my own development as a teacher/mom/discipler--I pass on to my children the understanding that this is a serious focus of my life (not just something I'm tacking on) and that I will take time to become the best I can. More I have the chance to join with others and for sharing ideas and strategies which builds the whole home schooling community.

Curriculum--Yes, though overwhelming, I do use the resources of the curriculum hall to get my hands on options I'm considering. Just feeling a book, looking at the layout, and imagining how a particular approach might work in our home helps me shape the coming year. Deciding on a new book excites me (and our children) for all we get to do in the next stage. Even better, seeing the cons of a book I was considering and passing on it helps so much more than ordering something because it looked good online, then not using it.

The convention is coming. If you're feeling a little weary or overwhelmed, take advantage of all the resources pulled together specifically to encourage and inform you. Enjoy the camaraderie with other home schoolers. After 17 years, I still go. I still come away refreshed and ready for another year.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

How do I teach THIS?

High school daughter's foray into college applications has led us into uncharted territory--Pre-Calculus. As we dive into each day's lesson my mother's desire to give her child the best education possible rivals the continual refrain circling in my brain, "I'm not in high school any more--why do I have to do this?!" More to the point--can I do this? How do I teach something that is so complicated and so beyond my expertise?

Therein lies the constant challenge of home schooling--and the constant hope. Personally, I think our students out-perform students from other schooling approaches precisely because we are learning with them. Instead of being fed information by someone so familiar with the concepts they have become rote, our children get a front row seat to watch the processes their parent uses to take information they don't understand and find a way to understand.

My husband recently affirmed this observation. A multi-award winning professor, he said, "I'm not as good a professor as I used to be because the material is all so easy for me now. I was better when I struggled. I could understand my students' struggles. As they watched me figure something out, they learned how to as well."

So . . .for all of us facing the challenge of teaching what we don't understand, a few tips.

• Pray--out loud--for the Holy Spirit's help. What better opportunity to teach our children the daily habit of relying on the Holy Spirit for wisdom--both in spiritual matters and in the daily challenges we face?

• Be honest about the hardships you face. This normalizes hardship. Instead of believing that they are inherently inferior because school doesn't come easily, our children learn that people struggle. Get used to it--find a way through it. As you openly talk yourself through a math process or spend the time on the computer to track down sources for a research paper, our children gain insights on steps they can take. They see learning unfold.

• Break information down. People tend to feel overwhelmed when there is too much information or they are not sure what to do with the information they have. Take smaller chunks--work through those at the slower of the child's pace or yours. It doesn't really matter that the curriculum says that Lesson 58 should be done today. If child (or parent) needs more time--take it. We're going for actual learning--not check marks on a curriculum guide. When children (or parents) don't feel rushed, they can relax. That makes learning easier. I once had a child stuck on an Algebra concept for two months. Every day we worked the type problems that challenged. I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong or what to do better. Then, all of a sudden--it clicked. That child went on to ace the course. Patience paid off.
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• Seek help. God puts us in community for a reason--to share the gifts He gives to build up each other. We concretely show our children how to humbly seek out fellow believers in their strengths when they see us do so. At the same time, be ready to humbly come alongside others who benefit from our strengths. In this way we build the body of Christ in very practical ways.

• Celebrate the victories. When the light bulb goes on and a hard concept finally sinks in--celebrate. Break out ice cream. Use colorful stickers. Dance a little jig. Openly thank God for His help. The incentives from victories feed the spirit of perseverance for the next challenge.

As home schoolers we spend a lot of time teaching what we don't understand. Rather than our greatest weakness, I think this becomes our greatest strength as we visibly rely on God's help, demonstrate to our children how to persevere through a challenge, and celebrate all the ways God reveals His truth to us daily.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

Held Together

Some days--especially at the start of a new school year--I look at what needs to be accomplished, and it’s overwhelming.  I’m already past the straw that broke the camel’s back.  If you were to but sneeze in my direction, I think I might actually fall to pieces.  Ever felt that way?

Look this way for a moment.

“Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars,

the One who leads forth their host by number,

He calls them all by name;

Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power

not one of them is missing.”  Isaiah 40:26

Not one of them is missing.  Wow.

“For by Him all things were created,

both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible,

whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—

all things have been created by Him and for Him.

And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”

Colossians 1:16-17

Really?  Yes, all things.

So it’s no stretch to say He holds me together?  That’s right.

Not just holds you together, but holds you in His arms.

“The eternal God (eternal—as in not disintegrating anytime in the unforeseeable future) is a dwelling place (alternately translated refuge),

And underneath are the everlasting arms.”  Deuteronomy 33:27

(Parenthetical comments mine)

Whatever it is, you’ll make it.

In Him all things hold together.

And underneath are the everlasting arms.

Please, Lord, don’t let my heart ever forget it.

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, singing, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her original 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.