New Year's Resolution--Defeat the Enemy Within

To look at Jessica*, you'd never guess what she faces on a daily basis. Long, rich brown hair, a lean well-shaped figure, and a smile that could light New York City. Yet, a deadly killer lives inside her--growing. In her second bout of cancer, Jessica fights a battle against the enemy within.

When I asked how she was doing and how I could pray, Jessica said simply, "Pray that God blesses all I'm doing to get this out of me." To defeat the cancer, Jessica has radically changed her life. She follows a strict nutritional regimen, exercises, and has retrained herself on managing stress. She knows her healing is ultimately in God's hands, but she endeavors to live a daily response to His healthy principles in the hopes that her body will fight off this killer.

In talking with her, I realize we are really no different. We both have an enemy within that threatens to destroy. We both ultimately rest in Jesus for our healing. At the same time we both have a daily duty to reorient our lives to respond to God's life-giving.

At this Christmas season, I live in awe of a God who would give up heaven, the adoration of angels, and limitlessness to come to a dirty stable, filled with mocking people, and be constrained by the helplessness of a newborn. Jesus did all this to personally say, "I love you, and I want you to know Me." I came to be here. . .with you.

I live in greater awe that He came as the means, not just of sharing life, but of saving us from the enemy in us. That He chooses to live in us to defeat that enemy.

I see Jessica's desperation. She knows her life is on the line. She has responded by fully committing to a way that leads to life. I pray to be that desperate.

I pray my desperation leads me to walk more closely with Christ. Knowing all He has already done, I pray that I can use this coming year to cooperate in His work in me more fully. To radically change my life and my lifestyle to be in full conformity with Him.

I pray for the daily commitment to looking into His eyes to see whether my actions please Him. To ask myself daily:

• Am I showing grace to my husband, children, friends, and strangers? 
• Are my reactions bathed in patience and gentleness? 
• Am I spending the best moments of my day talking with Jesus about His plans for my day and then the rest of the moments obediently carrying those out? 
• Am I willing to accept unanswered prayers and disappointments as a necessary part of God's plan rather than seeing them as a failure of God to reward me as I deserve? 
• Am I living for God or for me? 

As I look to the coming year--I long for so many things. That diversity can scatter my focus and leave me unproductive. Jessica has offered a lesson in focus. I resolve this year to pray daily for a dependency on God's work in me and a willingness to engage in those efforts in my control to live for Christ and for His work to bring healing and life to my soul. I pray for defeat of the enemy within.


* Name changed.


Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

2013 IAHE Home Educators' Convention

The IAHE has had recent Board changes and that means a new Convention Coordinator.  Thank you for showing us grace as we continue to learn as we work through the process of planning our Convention.  

One thing we've been trying to do is find a suitable venue for Convention.  We thought we'd be nice and early with our information, but unfortunately the only date we could obtain at our originally preferred location conflicted with a regional event.  With our size, it has not been easy, but we are working hard to try out options that make it easier for families in regards to parking and food while at Convention.  We maxed out the 2012 venue and are moving to the Indiana State Fairgrounds for 2013.

For the past year, we have been asking for feedback regarding the IAHE.  We appreciate your ideas!   We have some upcoming changes to share with you that we believe you will like.  Stay tuned...

The IAHE is a ministry to home educating families, but it is also a non-profit business that is run full-time, year round by volunteers.  Most of our funding comes from Convention, but we do appreciate your tax-deductible donations.  We have plans that we would love to see come to fruition that will help to educate legislators and Hoosiers in general while strengthening home education in Indiana, but it all is dependent on funding.  

We NEED your help at IAHE.  For information on ways you may help your state organization, contact our office.

Debi Ketron 

Member, IAHE Board of Directors

Protecting Our Children

My mind is still reeling from the news out of Connecticut. While so many in our culture ask, "How could someone go after children?"--we know the answer. Sadly. We know that we live in a culture that "goes after children."

From abortion, to the sexualization of children in advertisements, to the video games that target their minds with shallow pleasure, to the movies that espouse every religious view but true Christianity--our culture goes after children. John Stonestreet once said, "The signs of an idolatrous culture are sexual immorality and the sacrifice of children." Few Christians can look at the world around us and not sense the idolatry of our culture. And that children always pay the price of idolatry.

It's tempting to think, "But we home school. We're safe. Our children are safe." If only it were so easy.

We see how the public schools have banned God from their midst. They determined that they didn't need God. We see the terrible fruit of that choice.

Do we live as if we need God? At every step? Or, do we fall into a sense that, because we home school, God will just cover us with His protection?

That was step one of the public school's departure from God. Many early public schools lived in dependence on God. Parents gathered together to set the agenda for the school, hired a Godly teacher, and focused on learning based on scriptural tenets. Then came the slow fade. Parents just assumed that the schools would honor God. Then, they assumed God would bless whether He was honored or not. Many Christians who send their children to public school still live in this fantasy.

Many home schoolers live in this fantasy as well. We assume that, because we began our journey by faith in God, somehow God will bless whatever we do. Whether we seek Him or not.

I find it so easy to fall into this. After so many years home schooling--so many times through the curriculum--I get lulled into a false sense of "I've got this." At other times I'm so overwhelmed, I grasp at any tool offered--forgetting to instead grasp for God. Daily I have to intentionally go to God, pray for the Holy Spirit to govern our day and be our teacher, and ask that God keep my ears tuned to hear His voice. It's an act of sheer perseverance to stay focused on Him.

Christmas is a time when God made abundantly clear--"My people need me. They need me living among them, walking with them, and guiding them at every step." The cry of Christmas is to accept Jesus in our midst. Daily. To live--eyes focused on Him. To walk with Him. To honor Him and be guided by Him in everything from our Bible lessons to our art lessons to our service in the community. We need to seek Him in teaching our children how to relate to us, to each other, and to those outside our homes. That is our protection.

What happened in Connecticut was not outside God's sovereignty. But, I believe it was outside His will. It was the fruit of living outside His will. May we as home schoolers vigilantly seek to live every day in His will. May we seek to be an example to a hurting world how to follow God in the dayliness of life--in every choice and every focus. May we recognize that He is the only protection we have.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

New IAHE Region 5 Representatives

The IAHE is please to announce that we have new Reps for the busy Region 5 area located just west of Indianapolis that includes the following counties:  Hendricks, Boone, Putnam, Montgomery, and Parke.   They are Warren and Karen Whitesell.

Warren and Karen are the blessed parents of five children, ranging in ages from eight to nineteen.  All have been home educated from birth to the present with the oldest now pursuing a music degree through CollegePlus!.  Believing there can be no neutral position on the matter of child rearing and education, they have been dedicated to providing a distinctly Christian education.  Their goal has been to allow the truths and commands of Scripture, specifically from Psalms 1:1, Proverbs 1:7, and Deuteronomy 6:4-7, to shape, mold, and at times correct their approach to home education.  God has been gracious and certainly very patient while the family continues to discover what Biblical home education is all about!

The Whitesell family lives in Russellville, Indiana, on a small farm where, in addition to “formal education”, plenty of learning opportunities exist with gardening, livestock, etc.!  It is their family hope to encourage and to minister to other families seeking to home educate.

IAHE Board Changes

We had shared this on the IAHE Weekly Update, but forgot to share it here and on Facebook.   If you home educate and would like to receive the Weekly Update, register for a FREE account at IAHE.

IAHE Board News

We wish Greg & Kathleen Fowl well as they have retired from the IAHE Board after eighteen years of service as Region 13 Representatives and later Board members.

Please welcome our new Board members, Frank and Jackie Franks of Pendleton, Indiana (Madison County).  Frank and Jackie reside in central Indiana on their 80 acre farm. They have home educated and graduated their children Caleb, Rebecca, and John-Paul. Another daughter Amy lives in Austin, TX, with her husband and three sons. Seeing the faults of how they lived their early lives, they decided to, with God's help, raise adults committed to Christ. They felt the best way to do this was to intentionally homeschool and disciple. Without discipleship, they feel that the results of home education will be no better or worse than any other form of education.  
                                   

                                                                             

Frank ran his own marketing/distribution company for over 25 years, and has 40 years of experience in business. A highlights of home educating for him was teaching math. In 2003, one of his dreams was fulfilled as he moved to and converted a 440 acre property into a certified organic, grass-fed beef operation and timber farm. He felt this was an excellent place to raise children, without the distractions and entrapments of materialism. Today, he is a business consultant and organic farmer.  

Jackie's background in medicine as an RN, as well as her love of science, Creation, and healthy living, has permeated much of her family's education. One of the highlights of home education for her was interweaving the Word of God into everyday living. Feeling inadequate to educate her children at home, she was driven to her knees to simply ask for wisdom and empowering from the Holy Spirit on a daily basis. This prayer was answered more than she ever could have expected. Today, she enjoys working alongside her husband and each of her children as they process how they are now to live in light of the gifts and talents they have been given by God. She writes a blog, which encourages women in the art of making a house a home and filling it with the Spirit of the Lord.  

The Franks enjoy beautiful/traditional music, gardening vegetables and berries, raising bees and trees, traveling, organic food that tastes good (especially homemade artisan breads), and fellowship with family and friends.

Can Good Be Bad?

“My kingdom is not of this world.”

 ~Jesus Christ, the Master and great Shepherd of the sheep

As recorded in John 19:36

If we have chosen to follow Christ, we have committed to a life that is clearly outside the world’s cultural norms and is governed by heavenly priorities instead.  The lives of those who have chosen to homeschool fall even farther outside cultural norms.  But even in the homeschool world, we are not immune to distraction from what is of central importance to our Lord.  In fact, especially in the homeschool world, we may be lulled into a false sense of security when it comes to our priorities.  It is often said that the good can be the enemy of the best.  It is of prime importance that we regularly take stock of our lives to make sure that we have not received His grace in vain.

Might it be possible that we have become yoked to things that are really not of Him?   (See II Corinthians 6.)   Are we honestly and truly not of this world?   Or could it be, that in spite of a valiant attempt to keep from being conformed to and entangled in “the world” and its pagan, cultural wrappings and trappings, we are sometimes unwittingly lured into what is simply an alternate “world” to keep us occupied?

 “Do not love the world, nor the things in the world.

If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

For all that is in the world,

the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life,

is not from the Father, but is from the world.

And the world is passing away, and also its lusts;

but the one who does the will of God abides forever.”

I John 2:15-17

Could it be that an obsession with a morally clean cultural world might serve Satan’s purposes just as well—to sufficiently distract us from God’s real priorities?

The world has dark and dirty hobbies to keep its lives too busy for God.  Those who claim to follow Christ may have refreshingly clean hobbies, which ironically, however, often accomplish the same end.  Neither group has much time for God’s priorities.  My fear is that we are far too often energetic—exceptionally so—for things that are empty, feverish in our activity for that which is fading.

The world’s teenagers follow the latest fashion trends—daringly envelope-pushing, immodest ones.  Meanwhile, Christian young people can be equally enthralled with fashion, except, of course, that theirs would tend toward modesty.

The men of the world love sports and beer.  Multitudes of Christian men, too, can talk of nothing but sports.  They just generally prefer a less addictive drink to go with it.

While the world may be addicted to the dark side of technology, the Church may be equally addicted to its cleaner forms.

The world takes it view of Christianity from everything but the Bible.  And tragedy of tragedies, so does most of the “Church”, as is evidenced by way it whole-heartedly embraces the core beliefs of the rest of the world’s religions, while having not a clue where the ideas have come from.

“As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord,

so walk in Him. . . .

 See to it that no one takes you captive

through philosophy and empty deception,

according to the tradition of men,

according to the elementary principles of the world,

rather than according to Christ.”

Colossians 2:6, 8

Honestly, is what we let ourselves be consumed with actually prescribed in the Bible, or has some smooth talker just convinced us that it is?  Do we latch onto things, thinking they are worth our time, when in reality they, too, are passing away?  Are our priorities really the same as His?  

It is imperative that we ask ourselves these questions.  These are the kind of questions we need to be asking.  I have to ask myself these kinds of questions on a regular basis, and especially at holiday times when our schedules get even tighter than usual.  If we don’t ask ourselves these questions, and honestly stare the answers in the face, we may find that our dear Master is grieved with our hardness of heart and with our willingness to be distracted from what matters most to Him.

Lately, I’ve been reading the last letters of Peter and Paul (II Peter and II Timothy).  They’ve really gotten to me.  I have felt their emotion, as they knew their time on this earth was coming quickly to an end.  Those dear men, under the Spirit’s influence, were intensely passionate—and increasingly so, it seems, as they aged—that we should faithfully carry on what Jesus passed on to them, without getting sidetracked, deceived, or lead astray from their—and our—beloved Master.

I was going to share some verses from II Peter and II Timothy but couldn’t narrow them down; they were all too relevant.  So instead, I urge you to go pull out the actual letters and soak them up as you would precious pen and paper letters that just arrived today in your mailbox.  You certainly won’t regret it; in fact, it may save you from regret.

“And now, little children, abide in Him,

so that when He appears, we may have confidence

and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming.”

~From yet another intensely devoted follower of Jesus Christ

As recorded in I John 2:26-28

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, singing, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her original 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.

3 Tips to Prevent Meltdown at Christmas Gatherings

Tis the season to see friends and family, attend special programs, and tour the lights. As our family sat around the dinner table the other night, a question came up, "What are your favorite family traditions?" Everyone named a Christmas tradition--a few simply said, "All the stuff we do at Christmas."

Yet, as special as those events can be--all too often they can lead to meltdowns. Tantrums, crying spells, extra fighting--and that's just the parents. What can we do to keep the "special" in special events?

Children (and parents) misbehave most often when they are tired, hungry, or out of their routine. The key to preserving the joy of family events is to think ahead for each of these.

Aim to keep family members rested. Whether the family attends a special concert or a neighborhood party, special events tend to go past bedtimes. With darkness descending ever earlier--the toll is even greater. When parents know that evening's activities will likely keep children up too late, including a rest in the daily schedule may be the key to preserving the evening fun. As home schoolers we have the advantage of orienting the day to match life. Too often the realization of upcoming breaks persuades us to try to squeeze every last math problem or research paper out of our children before the break begins. Added to the increased strain holidays bring with their added commitments and activity, that can be the last straw.

Better approach--recognize that January through March offer long days with not much else to do but school. Save the push for the winter months and enjoy the wonder and joy of Christmas. On our third year of home schooling, (because we still had only young learners) we opted to take the month of December to devote to enjoying Christmas. We made crafts, baked goods for gifts baskets, read great books on the history and meaning of both Christmas and Christ's birth from a variety of perspectives. We took on special projects to minister to neighbors. The lighter approach meant less strain and more enjoyment. Even though we can't take the month anymore--we do focus on core subjects rather than the full schedule. More, I do include rest times for the younger members, even if it's just an hour in bed reading. This keeps the energy going when special events run late.

Aim to prevent hunger. Special events often center on food--but the timing can be very different than your home meal schedule. A package of cheese crackers or baggie of almonds can make all the difference. When children, or spouse, starts getting grumpy because their stomach is growling and the host won't serve food for another hour--pull out the reserve snacks and head off melt-downs.

Aim to preserve routine. The thing about special events? They're . . .special. Out of the ordinary. Out of the routine. Children thrive on routine. Routine offers security, predictability, and signals for how to act. Deprived of these--children can feel like they are in a metaphorical free-fall. Not the best feeling for inducing good behavior.

We can help by offering the benefits of routine--even when routine is missing. Before going into Grandma's for the family party or the concert hall, remind children of behavioral expectations: use manners, give adults the seats and sit on the floor, listen to others, etc. If children only see family members at Christmas, offer reminders as to who they will see and how they are connected. You might also offer interesting details that allow your children to connect. Let children know how long you will be there and what to expect during the event.

Just as important--keep your December calendar in front of you at all times. When a friend calls to invite you for a neighborhood gathering, check the calendar. Don't just look to see if you are booked. Look to see how many other nights are booked. Preserve nights to be home and rest. You can even take the time to block out nights at the beginning of the month to ensure time at home. 

Tis the season to enjoy family, friends, and special events. By remembering the triggers for misbehavior and preparing ahead, we can help keep the "special" in special events. We trade tears and tantrums for wonderful family memories.


Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

Thanksgiving--The Season That Never Ends

When we first returned from Ukraine with our newly adopted thirteen-year-old daughter, my dad went around the house with her, labeling things with sticky-notes.  Her repertoire of English vocabulary was very small, so he was helping to add to it.  I still smile when I remember his labeling of legs—"table leg," "chair leg," and "people leg."

Recently, I heard about another use for sticky-note labels that I've not been able to get out of my head.  Someone suggested that each of us ought to get two stacks of sticky-notes. On the notes in one stack, write the label "temporary" and attach those notes to everything that is just that—temporary.  Cars, computers, toys, furniture . . . even money.  You get the idea.  All the stuff that, in the end, will burn.  On the notes in the second stack, write "eternal" and stick those on people, because their souls are, in fact, eternal.

Even though I didn't actually make the labels, I now can't picture my stuff without seeing those labels attached in my mind.  And I find myself asking myself why I'm spending time on certain things that won't last or that won't impact the eternal in any way.

Surrounded by invisible labels, I've been thinking of their implication on my thanksgiving, too.  The temporary can certainly be cause for thanksgiving.  The glory and magnificence of the created world—all that we can see, taste, smell, hear, or touch—can point us to the wisdom and goodness of our Creator.  Majestic mountains, the cheerful sound of children's laughter, or the savory smell of pumpkin pie can inspire praise to our Father.  He is the one who gave us ears to hear.  He gave us eyes capable of seeing color and detecting depth.  He is the one who created flavor and gave us the ability to enjoy it.  As wonderful as the created world is though, it still gets a "temporary" label.  And that's really got me thinking.

I’ve tried to imagine being in what we'd be likely to call less-than-ideal circumstances.  What if I lost my sight?  What if I could no longer hear the laughter of children?  What if I were truly hungry or out in the cold?  What if my life were the one the Voice of the Martyrs magazine asked you to pray for?  What then?  In that light, a focus on the temporary seems terribly shallow.  What would I be thankful for then?  It would be the things that transcend and that can’t be stolen by circumstances good or bad.  Think of it!  If our joy is attached to the things that can’t be stolen, then our joy can’t be stolen either.  But if our joy is attached to temporary things . . .

God knows our hearts need a greater focus on the intangible blessings that are enduring, a focus that goes beyond thanksgiving for the albeit lovely, but nevertheless temporary.  It’s those eternal blessings that will remain and bring joy even when our lives are stripped of all those temporary things.

That's what the Apostle Peter was getting at in chapter one of his first letter:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away...”  

I find it interesting that Scripture focuses very little on the temporary, and even the examples of gratitude for temporary things point to God's character as Provider.  Not that I don't enjoy the temporary or won't be grateful for the blessings that I know will fade, but the temporary is definitely second tier, and the real issue is one of priorities.  Recognition of the enduring importance of the eternal is the cure for a hollow life.  Seeing with God's eternal perspective keeps us from being shallow.

So while I will still be thankful for temporary blessings, I'm all the more determined to cultivate an ardent attitude of gratitude for "every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places," as Paul says in Ephesians 1.  Though I can’t attach sticky-notes to them, they are no less real.  I want my joy to be anchored to the eternal, not to the temporary.  If I’m anchored to the eternal, I can't be shaken.  I’m convinced that’s what Peter was talking about as his first letter continues:

“In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials … and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory … [Therefore] fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

Yes, 'tis the season for being thankful.

If you know Jesus, the season never ends!

By the way, parents, if we model a life of heavenly aligned priorities, we equip our children well to live a truly rich life.

"Godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment.

... Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited

or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches,

but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy."

I Timothy 6:6,17

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, singing, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her original 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.

What makes information stick?

Each evening, everyone around our dinner table shares the most interesting thing they learned that day. One night, for my turn, I shared my amazement that the Chinese had handguns and movable type for printing around 1000 A.D. What makes this so surprising? I've taught this same curriculum twice before. Why am I only getting this now?

This experience reminds me to be ever so patient with my children when they don't "get it." I've studied Ancient China three times--not only studied, but taught. Yet, I can read the very same books over and over still learning something new--still surprised by what I didn't notice before. Why then do I get so frustrated when my children can't repeat every detail of what we've studied?

For information to "stick," we have to have some life experience or interest to connect with the new information. Because our children's life experiences are so limited, a lot of information passes by them. That doesn't mean they aren't interested or aren't trying. It simply means they haven't got an experience to serve as a hook for hanging the information so that it sticks with them. Now that I've studied China enough to have a grasp on the big picture of China's history, I can add more details to fill in the picture--like the fact that they had movable type about 400 years before Gutenberg. To help my children develop these hooks, I need to remember to offer more than just information from books. I need to offer experiences that make the information stick.

How can we do this?

• First, don't be afraid to repeat. Sometimes, I fall into the trap of thinking that covering everything in the books matters most. I'm learning different priorities. This year, as  we study the history of the countries in the 10/40 window and the efforts of missionaries to bring God's love to these people, I want to make sure my children gain a real heart for lost people. That can't happen if we skim over their history--as our curriculum often has us do. So, instead, we're choosing fewer countries and repeating, over and over, their basic facts. We're going in-depth on the elements for which my children's life experiences offer a hook--the games, food, clothing, and families of each country. The repetition and focus on common elements helps the children truly engage with the countries.

• Second, incorporate hands-on activities to create life experiences. While I'm NO master, we are doing rudimentary lapbooks where the children record information, draw pictures, make maps of the countries. In doing these, the children get to put the history in their own words which has led to a lot more learning.  We've taken advantage of museum exhibits on certain countries to gain other insights. Balancing books with hands-on makes a huge difference in what the children actually learn.

Most importantly, I think I'm learning that learning is never a "once and done" endeavor. God's world is so complex and wondrous, there is always something new to discover. If I can move myself from wanting my children to "get" every fact and be able to pass tests with flying colors and instead simply hope that I awaken their desire to learn and give them the tools to do so, that would make a successful home school. More, it keeps the interesting discussions flowing around the dinner table as everyone shares their new discovery of the day.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

3 Steps to Thankfulness

“Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. . . “ Psalm 100:4

Thanksgiving may be the best holiday of the year. No gifts to buy, no pressure to create a certain experience, no special plays or musicals—simply a day to gather together and give thanks.     More—we can use the season to teach our children the fundamentals of entering God’s presence.

The Psalmist wrote, “Enter His gates with thanksgiving.” We come into God’s presence as we give thanks. Gratitude, contentment, and thankfulness are the hallmarks of a child of God. Instilling this trait in our children not only makes them much more pleasant people with whom to live, it forms their character to seek and see God.

How can Thanksgiving season help us focus on this trait?

• Read: Find great books about the Pilgrims and take this month to read together. For example Down Ryton Water by E.R. Gaggin and Drew Thurston tells the full story of the journey from England to Holland to Plymouth. A little tough in the language, its detail brings the struggle and the spirit of the people to life. Contentment breeds contentment. As we read of the Pilgrims’ ability to be thankful in the midst of so much hardship, our own gratitude grows.

• Record: Find a way to daily give thanks throughout the month. One of our favorite family traditions is to cut “leaves” out of different colors of construction paper. Each night at dinner each member of the family writes (or someone writes for them) the thing they are thankful for from the day. We then tape them to the windows. Over the month our home is filled with fall color. On Thanksgiving—we read each leaf. Sure, it takes some time—but the time it takes reinforces how very much God has blessed us in both big and small ways. Other families have a thankfulness journal. Still others simply pray their gratitude out loud each night. Find a way to record your blessings, and your heart toward God will grow.

• Reach out: God blesses us so that we share those blessings with others. When we intentionally create times for our family to serve others, we enlarge both our capacity to give thanks and our compassion for God’s world. Serve at a food bank, deliver meals to shut-ins, reach out to the lonely and elderly in your church.  Using a season that focuses on blessings to bless others marks us as God’s children.

Other holidays have had their Christian message greatly diluted by secularism. Thanksgiving remains untainted. We enter God’s gates as we give thanks. May this be a month where your family grows in gratitude and in the experience of coming into God’s presence. #parenting

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

Transcript Season

It's transcript season at our house, and I've been reminiscing.  One of my dear girls has started her last year of high school.  We have been through so much and learned so much together.  And most of it could never be reflected on a transcript.

Oh, yes, she has learned to balance chemical equations, to make bread and berry pie, to use imaginary numbers and subordinating conjunctions.  She can play the piano and tell you who Thaddeus Kosciuszko was.  But a transcript could never reflect who she has become.

In the progress of gathering up samples of her work for a portfolio, I came across a notebook wherein lay perhaps some of her most significant work.  It was work that went far deeper than history facts or geometry proofs.  It penetrated her heart and ignited something inside her.  This work hadn't been assigned for an official class.  It was what she had done during the time she devoted to God's Word at the beginning of the day during one of her school years.  The notebook contains the notes she made as she read through the Old Testament books of Joshua and Judges.

As I read through tears of joy, I saw that she had carefully catalogued, verse by verse, what was taking place, grouped the verses into logical divisions, and summarized the content.  She made observations on the overarching themes, and then applied them to her own life and the life of our nation with incredible insight.  God challenged her to align herself with His priorities, and she said, "Yes!"  He spoke, He revealed His faithfulness, and her faith grew.  And mine grew, too, as I read what the Lord had taught her.

Contrary to popular opinions of some, studying God's Word is no dry, meaningless, intellectual exercise; it has been a living and powerful shaping force in her life.  As I observe her attitudes today and hear her speak with passion, I know that the living God who revealed Himself in those passages has molded her faith with His own hand.

As we spend each passing day with our children, let's not forget that the most relevant things they will ever learn are the spiritual truths from God's Word that will anchor them long after they've left home and long after we have moved on to heaven ahead of them.

And more rewarding than anything that could be recorded on a transcript is knowing that our children's names are recorded in the Book Of Life.

". . . You know in all your hearts and in all your souls

that not one word of all the good words

which the LORD your God spoke concerning you has failed;

all have been fulfilled for you, not one of them has failed."

Joshua 23:14b

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, singing, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her original 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.

Fall Breaks

To break or not to break, that is the question.

While not as resonating as Shakespeare's version, many home schooling families wonder whether a fall break messes with the just-established schedule or offers a needed respite. I have to admit--I tend to fall into the camp of "we school from Labor Day to Memorial Day."  We break for Thanksgiving and 3 weeks at Christmas (mostly because I could never get everything done otherwise). Otherwise, we stick to the books. We do this because our farm requires a lot of work in the spring and we love summer. To protect those days, I stick to a strict schedule during the school year. But, I'm learning there are benefits to a few days off as we go.

Breaks remind us, "We're still a family." I don't know about others, but--especially as our children get older--between church and kid activities, evenings become full and fragmented. Thus, we're together primarily during school. While we love schooling together, the school focus means we're "down to business" during the day. With people headed to activities at night, we lose the time to just "be" as a family. Breaks recapture these moments. Whether we hunker down at home to a backyard bonfire and nights of Scrabble or take a short camping trip that gets us hiking together, taking three days away can bring some much-needed together-fun .

Breaks provide rest. How many families find a perfect pace? No matter how closely we guard white space for our families, it seems most of us feel stretched. God knows we need regular rest times. He planned Sabbaths and Jubilee years to institutionalize rest. Rather than stealing precious lesson time, a fall break can actually recharge everyone to take full advantage of the enrichment of school rather than it feeling like drudgery.

Breaks provide a different education. Just the other day we went to Angel Mounds in Evansville. We learned the richness of our state's history through the small museum and touring the mounds. More, I was surprised by how uncomfortable my youngest children were by the statues of Native Americans. Instead of engaging, they were scared. Troubling for me as I'm part Cherokee. We took the older children to pow-wows with my grandparents when the children were younger, but with grandparents passing--younger children haven't experienced this side of life.

Though we talk often in our history lessons about the importance of valuing everyone as made in the image of God and accepting them, the trip to the Mounds provided a concrete setting to put those lessons into practice. When we break from the routine of school and explore something else--a hike in the woods, a trip to a museum, a visit downtown--we open our children to new experiences and we discover gaps in our children's ability to apply the values we teach. Filling those gaps may be the most important education we do.

Stoic educator that I am, I'm learning the value of breaks. Rather than a distraction to school--they may prove to be the perfect complement. Who knows--we might actually take a spring break this year!

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com. #parenting #homeschooling

Unclicking the Clique

"I don't think we're going to be part of the co-op next year," a mom shared over coffee one morning.

Seeing the hurt in her eyes, I asked, "What's going on? Is there a problem?"

"Well . . . the kids just don't feel included. The popular kids don't give our girls the time of day. They joined to find friends--that's just not happening."

Again. A great idea for fellowship and relationship--spoiled by cliques. I have to admit, I didn't expect this in our home schooling group. This was supposed to be a public school issue. Turns out home schoolers are just as likely to form cliques. And the hurt strikes just as deeply.

Whether it's public school, home school groups, church youth groups--any group where kids band   together--the tendency exists to form cliques. Somehow one group becomes the "in" crowd with others looking on hoping to be included; hurt when they are not.

As parents, we spend a lot of our time either complaining about cliques, comforting our excluded children, or encouraging our included children to welcome others. Perhaps, we need a different focus.

Focus on the heart issue. God cares about two things: right relationship with Him and right relationship with others. To ensure we would pursue this right relationship with others, he put in us a longing for connection.

Cliques are a perversion of this longing. Instead of a right relationship with others, we pursue the kind of relationship that gains its value from exclusion of others. God's desires lived out--in a completely ungodly way.

Instead of addressing the clique issue, perhaps we would do well to shift the focus to the relationship issue. Helping our children see that God put a desire to relate deeply to others within them, but that He also instructs how those relationships are to be lived out. When our children gain God's perspective--they can get past their own desire to be "in the clique" and begin to see the value of relationship coming from getting to know, encourage, and serve God with other people.

Give our children these relational skills. The beauty of home schooling is that we truly use every moment to learn how to live life in a Godly way. With their siblings or other people in their lives, our children can practice the right kinds of relational skills. They begin to see their time together as a way of getting to know, encourage, and serve God with the people in their lives.

When we train our children to respond to situations by "putting up" with a relative's perhaps irritating but not harmful idiosyncrasies, by "encouraging" a brother in his math test, by "serving one another" by cleaning up sister's lunch dishes while she catches up on her language. In short as we put the "one anothers" of scripture into practice each day--our children gain a right vision for relationships both at home and in groups. They no longer view others through a lens of "will I be more popular when with them?" They see others as the people God put in their lives to minister to, relate to, and value because they are both growing in Christ.

The conversation with the mom happened in my kitchen several years ago. Her daughter longed to be part of the clique; my son was on the inside. We began talking to our children about the damage that was happening and a better vision for relationships at Co-op. Today, some parents drive an hour to be part of the group because "my children feel so connected here." We can make a change. Children who know how to relate to others in a Godly way don't just have better co-ops; they make a better world.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com. #parenting

3 Keys for Dealing with Parental Anger

Anger. What is it with anger? How can we be so in love and engaged with our children one moment, then so angry the next? Few parents escape that sick feeling of guilt after we've truly blown it with our child.

We know when our blow-ups are wrong. We know the damage they cause. We so often fear our own reactions because they seem to come from out of the blue--wreaking havoc, hurting those we love.

At the same time--at our core--we know we're right. Often, our anger is justified. Our children have done the very things we've spent so much time teaching against--hurting others; hurting us. How do we find the balance? How do we justifiably react to what is wrong without giving in to an anger that only damages.

Dr. S. M. Davis, pastor and noted home school speaker, calls parental anger the Number 1 destroyer of Godly families. If he's right, we must find a better way. Three keys for dealing with anger can show us that better way. The keys can be summed up in the phrase, "Anger is a great signal that something is wrong, but a terrible tool for fixing."

Anger is a great signal that something is wrong. When we're angry--there's a reason. God gives people emotions as tools for sensing the deeper layers of life going on around us. When we feel angry, that's the signal that something needs to be addressed.

Scripture teaches--first examine your own life. Matthew 7:3-5 Is the issue that needs addressing coming from within? Are you trying to teach the intricacies of Algebra on minimal sleep and no breakfast? Home schoolers have to do it all. We nurse babies throughout the night, encourage husbands facing job stresses, and figure out the strategies for teaching both beginning phonics and advanced Algebra all while managing a household. The stresses mount. Little sleep and a diet of coffee and children's left overs don't quite cut it. Our anger over child refusing to concentrate may have less to do with child's reaction and more with our need for a nap.

Once we've examined our own lives, we are then in a position to examine our child's. Anger is a great signal that something is wrong. When we become angry that our child won't concentrate on his work or keeps hitting his sister or back-talks when we give instructions--the anger is right. God has given our child a job of school. When child refuses to settle down and work, he is rebelling against God. When he hits his sister, he's rebelling against God's command to love others sacrificially. When he responds poorly to you, he's rebelling against the authority God has placed in his life. Our frustration with these behaviors rightly points us to heart issues that must be addressed.

Anger is a terrible tool for fixing what is wrong. James 1:2 says, "Man's anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires." Our anger won't bring about righteousness in our children. This is the source of our confusion. We are rightly angry, but that anger can't bring about righteousness. So, when we act in anger, we fail to follow God's direction in dealing with the situation which means we are now as in the wrong as our child. Hence the guilt. Hence the havoc wreaked when we blow up.

Instead, we need to allow the anger to signal when a situation needs addressing. Then, we need to address by getting on our knees and asking God for guidance in dealing with our child's heart. James 4 tells us that if we seek getting our way, we will have quarrels and fights. But, if we seek God's wisdom, He will give it.

Sometimes He gives the wisdom right away. We know that the hitting shows a lack of love for sister that violates God's command to love. We can take son aside and say, "Son, what in your heart is causing you to hit your sister?" As he shares his frustration that she keeps taking his pencils or does better than him at his math, you can offer, "I'm sure that is frustrating. She isn't treating you well. But, how does God want us to treat those who are hurting us?" Then comes the very concrete lessons of loving those who hurt us, finding Godly ways to share frustration rather than giving in to sin, or taking the time to see from another's perspective--the real discipleship of home schooling lived out in the scenes of our life, daily.

The key is refusing to use anger to resolve the situation but instead using God's word. If you need help knowing where to find His direction for a specific situation, I love Kara Durbin's Parenting with Scripture. She categorizes scripture based on heart attitude. Incredibly helpful resource.

Focus on the hearts. When we develop the habit of letting our anger inform us of situations that need our attention but deal with those out of God's word bathed in our patience, gentleness, firmness, and love--we stop blowing up. The pattern moves from us living a guilt-ridden roller coaster of costly interactions with our children to a pattern of God's word shaping our relationships. Our focus moves from the outer behavior to the heart.

Our children's behavior gives a clear mirror of the activity of their hearts. So does ours. When we focus on the hearts--ours and our child's--we open our hearts to seek God's reign in everything. We let His word shape and mold us. We become the people of God we long to be.

As parents--we get angry. Anger is a great signal that something is wrong, but a terrible tool for fixing. As we use our anger to take note of issues we need to address but God's word as the tool, we take our families from damaged to healthy.

          

   

What's right with this picture?

"Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good." Job 34:4

Could there be any better mission for our home schooling endeavors?

To discern means to perceive or to recognize clearly. So, God, in this passage, urges us to to perceive or recognize clearly what is right, what is good.

I have to admit that sometimes, with all the information coming at us through our curriculum, I have trouble knowing just where to focus. Mike and I don't want our children just memorizing facts to get through a test. We want them learning--and for a purpose. But, sometimes even I can't figure out the purpose. This passage from Job helps.

Whether we are studying the history of an ancient tribe, a new Algebraic formula, or a language rule--I can ask my children, "From this information--what is right? What is good?" As I ask these questions, our children learn to train their brains to seek the right and the good in everything they encounter--whether it's a commercial, a reading book, or a position someone takes at church. 

We practiced this on a recent book we were assigned for reading. While the characters were entertaining and the story interesting, the children had a sense that something was not quite right. After reading a passage, my son voiced his concerns and we explored his sense of something being wrong. The two main characters (children) had discovered that a school custodian had kidnapped a friend. When the  children told their parents--parents didn't believe them. One character said, "I know we're not supposed to sneak out, but no one believes us. We have to do it to save Carrie." My son honed in on this scene to say, "I know that's not right, but what else could they do?"

That presented a perfect opportunity to explore other options--right options--the characters had available. More importantly, it affirmed my son's sense that, even with fun reading, we need to keep our sense of right engaged. We need to evaluate the messages we receive for whether they point to right and good, or to wrong and confusing. 

What is right? What is good? When we use these questions throughout our school days--we not only develop a real purpose for learning--every aspect of our day becomes another route for discovering the right and good of God, even in Algebraic formulas and language rules.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

Careful Listening

"Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him. ( Or, in NLT) To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what they think they understand will be taken from them. "  Luke 8:18

As I was reading my Bible the other night this verse jumped out at me. It has stayed with me for days. Do I listen carefully to God?

I know my heart is to follow God. I truly want my children to know God, to follow God, to become Godly. But, my children are learning, by watching me, how to go through their daily moments. Do they see me pause to listen to God, or do they see me merely acting on what I think I know?

Sometimes I get so very busy. You know what it's like--the books, the laundry, the meals, the tests. With three children asking for attention at the same time, the others ready to jump in, and the phone ringing--sometimes I find it hard to think about anything that's not right in front of me. The quiet voice of God gets lost. He's speaking--but am I listening?

Other times, I don't even have the excuse of busyness. I'm just so focused on telling God all about what I'm feeling or asking Him to give me what I need, that I fail to sit and listen.

I think I know what God wants from me as a wife. I think I know how to guide my children toward behaviors that honor God and away from those that cut them off from relationship with Him. I think I know what we need to cover in school.  But, God's word says that if I stop listening carefully to Him, even what I think I know will be taken from me.

I need to carefully listen. Because knowing if I'm listening well can be a little harder with God, I can practice on the people in my life--especially my family. Do I listen carefully to my husband? my children? my friends? my pastor? Do our interactions show I'm taking the time to listen carefully and respond well? If I develop this habit with the concrete people in front of me, I'm much more likely to engage with the invisible God in a listening mode.

I want, I need, God to fill me with His wisdom and guidance in this wifing/mothering/home schooling life. Jesus warns, "Then, you must consider carefully how you listen."

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

Dressing For Success

"Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right."

Proverbs 20:11 (NIV)

Want to make a good first impression and then maintain an impeccable reputation, too? Do you want your life to be a true success?

There's no big secret to it.  Really.  It all comes down to what you wear.  That's right--what you wear.

Now, before you decide somebody snatched my brain, let me explain.

Of course, true success starts with becoming one of God's people.  As His people, we represent Jesus--as His Ambassadors--not only to our family but to everyone we know, everywhere we go.  And we must dress accordingly.  So what do His Ambassadors wear?

Here's what one of the original Ambassadors of Christ wrote about it to the church at Colosse. 

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, 

clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)

Our foundational garment, which gives us a heart-level makeover, is the righteousness of Christ exchanged for our filthy rags of unrighteousness.  From there, godly fashion dictates that there are layers meant to be worn with it--compassion, kindness, humility gentleness, patience, and forgiveness.  And unlike our underwear, all of these lovely things should be showing.  Finally, crowning them all, the top layer is love.

Interestingly, this dress code reads a lot like the list of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23.  Getting properly dressed is a glorious combination of our cooperation and the Spirit's power.

Remember the story of the emperor who thought he was dressed in fancy new clothes but wasn't actually dressed at all?  How many times have we walked around, in fashion just as ridiculous, wearing nothing but our spiritual underclothes, so to speak, and a name-tag that says "Christian," while we're missing the rest of our necessary Ambassador attire?  Or worse yet, are there times we're still wearing the uniform of a soldier from our arch enemy's army--the very things we have been commanded to put off and lay aside?  ". . . Let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light" (Romans 13:12b NASB).

When we get dressed each morning, and every time we catch our reflection throughout the day, let's remember the dress code for Ambassadors.  When our work gets strenuous or the discussions heat up, let's not be tempted to shed the layers that are essential to our identity as Ambassadors of the King.  If we aren't properly dressed, no one will be inclined to take us seriously when we talk about Jesus--not our families or anyone else.

Let's teach our children by example what true dressing for success really means.

Who's with me for a good, deep closet cleaning?

P.S.  Fellow moms and dads, I'm thinking perhaps we could use clothing layers, some labels, and a touch of drama to make these truths come alive for our children. . .

Further food for thought or for sharing with your children:

II Corinthians 5:17-21  old and new, ambassadors, our sin exchanged for His righteousness
Colossians 3:1-17  new life, putting aside, putting something new on
James 1:21-25  what to lay aside, what to accept, the concept of a mirror, a life that's blessed
Ephesians 4:22-32  what to lay aside, what to put on
Hebrews 12:1-2  what to lay aside, endurance

For your convenience, each reference in the list above is linked to an on-line Bible.

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, singing, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her original 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Held Together

Some days--especially at the start of a new school year--I look at what needs to be accomplished, and it’s overwhelming.  I’m already past the straw that broke the camel’s back.  If you were to but sneeze in my direction, I think I might actually fall to pieces.  Ever felt that way?

Look this way for a moment.

“Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars,

the One who leads forth their host by number,

He calls them all by name;

Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power

not one of them is missing.”  Isaiah 40:26

Not one of them is missing.  Wow.

“For by Him all things were created,

both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible,

whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—

all things have been created by Him and for Him.

And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”

Colossians 1:16-17

Really?  Yes, all things.

So it’s no stretch to say He holds me together?  That’s right.

Not just holds you together, but holds you in His arms.

“The eternal God (eternal—as in not disintegrating anytime in the unforeseeable future) is a dwelling place (alternately translated refuge),

And underneath are the everlasting arms.”  Deuteronomy 33:27

(Parenthetical comments mine)

Whatever it is, you’ll make it.

In Him all things hold together.

And underneath are the everlasting arms.

Please, Lord, don’t let my heart ever forget it.

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, singing, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her original 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.