The Path to Happiness

"Happiness is the state of human flourishing. Human flourishing is reached by means of a virtuous life." Socrates

A friend recently returned several books I lent on home schooling with the comment, "Thanks for all the information. My husband and I would like to do it, but when we talked with our son--he thought it would be more fun to go to a classroom with friends." Her comment echoed several others I heard this week.

"How can we make our home schooling more fun?"--question on home schooling advice page.

"We tried that curriculum, but it was no fun."--quote from convention.

While I'm a big fan of fun and think it should be an element of healthy family life, when did fun become the litmus test for life choices?

Both in the home schooling community, and the larger Christian community, fun seems to be the paramount consideration for how to engage our children--how to make them flourish. Even  our endorsements center on fun. It's been a long time since I heard someone say, "This youth group/curriculum/activity is great! It built a deeper understanding of virtue into our children." More often, I hear, "Try this--our kids thought it was a blast!"

Our language frames our children's thinking. When our language focuses on terms such as "fun" or "enjoy," we train our children to consider these to be the highest priorities for their lives.

Is that the message we want to send? As our children face temptations and life choices--do we want them simply choosing what would bring the most pleasure? If, throughout their formative years, they have heard us mention only this standard for our choices, we can't be too surprised if fun becomes the standard for theirs.

I'll admit that my own language has become so infused with these terms, it's hard for me to find expressions for focusing on virtue that don't sound contrived or hokey. But, I'm trying--because I want my children to consider virtue as their way to flourishing. To happiness.

As I choose curriculum, I'm focusing more on recommending it to my children with phrases such as "This has some really great meat for our minds" or "I think this will help hone the passion God has given you with real skills." As I consider children's extra activities, I ask them, "Which of these will build God's fruit in your lives as well as be fun?" As they leave to go with friends, I no longer simply say, "Have a great time." I say, "Have a great time and be God's blessing." I have to admit the latter sounds forced even to me--but I'm trying to impart a Godly focus even in my good-byes.

Our culture believes fun is the path to happiness. It's no surprise that focus has permeated our home schooling culture as well. We want our children to be happy. Yet, if we really want happiness for our children, we should focus them toward virtue. As we intentionally express this focus, we teach our children that pursuing virtue is their path to happiness.


Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.