This Business of Loving

I've noticed something.  Sometimes we look at each other's families and think everybody but us has it all together.  Everybody else's families get along better than ours.  Their garden is more productive.  Their children are smarter.  We think other families don't struggle like we do.  We're the only ones with challenges.

That is just a pack of lies.

There is no perfect family.  Each and every family has areas they're still growing in, and the sooner we realize it, the better off we'll be.  If we can talk about it, we can encourage one another and build each other up.  So today I think we should talk about loving.

Let's just admit it up front.  Some people are easier to love than others.  For whatever particular reasons, some of our companions, maybe in the family or maybe not, have a more exhausting effect on our hearts than others do.

Over the years, I found myself, many times, praying for God to help me to love like He does.  After all, doesn't He tell us to imitate Him, as beloved children?  (Ephesians 5:1)  I have tried loving from my own limited resources and strength, and I have drained the last of them.  I don't know if I would have admitted it right out, but I was operating as if it were up to me to drum up all that love to imitate His love with.  It just wasn't working.  When I knew I should be loving, I felt more like retreating in frustration instead.  What was I to do?

Then the Lord, in His gentle way, reminded me of a truth that transformed everything--I'm dead.  That's right, I'm dead.

"I have been crucified with Christ;

and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me;

and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me and gave Himself up for me."

Galatians 2:20

So. . . It's not actually about me just trying harder to love like He does, or even Him as an outside entity filling me with His love.  The reality is that He, in me, actually does the loving!  What a relief!

It should have been no surprise that I had failed; the dead aren't exactly known for their amazing accomplishments.  How freeing to be reminded that His never ending love has always been up to the job.  My aim, as His beloved child, is to please Him, but the power to actually do it is all from His life in me.

One more thing still bothered me though.  Why did loving still have to be so challenging? Again, His gentle reminder,

". . .and the life I now live . . . , I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me . . ."

He loved me!  Me, who is needy.  Me, who messes up.  Me, who often fails to use her head.  Me, who just seems to 'not get it' sometimes.  He loves me. Why should I think that the ones He wants to love through me should not be this way, should not be so needy?

The ones He chooses to set His love on through me won't necessarily be easy to love or worthy.  Neither am I.  I'm realizing that all the loving He does through me is a picture of His love for me.  It's the same love, and we're all equally needy.

When He loves through me, He picks the object of His love; I don't get to do the choosing. When I might be turned off, put off, or repulsed, He can and does love the most unlovely. And He does it perfectly.  I must remember that it's not my life anymore--I'm dead--I'm His temple now, His hands and feet.  I'm here for Him to love through me.  When my old self resurrects, and I forget who's really alive here, I get frustrated, and I bristle at the task. But this business of loving will never be too much for Him.

His love endures forever!  His compassions never cease!

O Lord, as beloved children, our aim is to please you.  Transform our homes, dear Father, with Your truth, as You transform us into the image of your Son!

I pray, "That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory,

to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith;

and that you, being rooted and grounded in love,

may be able to comprehend with all the saints

what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know
the love of Christ

which surpasses knowledge,

that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:16-19

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.