A friend gently responded, "You don't find time; you make time."
She then went on to teach me one of the most important lessons of my life. "Everyone has the same 24 hours," she said. "Nobody finds more time than someone else--they just make different uses of their 24 hours.
Time limits are really a gift from God. When you look at how you spend your time, you are looking at what you've made most important. The real question is--do you want your present time investments to define your life? If not, make some different choices."
While I was inwardly cringing (and a little resentful that she didn't have more sympathy for all that was on my plate), I couldn't deny the truth in her words. Everyone has the same 24 hours. If people were accomplishing things I was not, they were simply making different choices with their time.
Did I need to make some different choices?
More importantly--what time investments did I want to define my life?
Mike and I made the choice to let God define the size of our family. God was generous. That choice led to some time investments--diapers, nursings, spit-ups, settling quarrels. I wasn't missing the important; I was living the important. Just realizing that I was spending my time on the priorities I wanted to define my life--the nurture and care of my children--made me feel less overwhelmed by the sense that others were doing so much more than me.
My friend's encouragement to make time for the important also pushed me to get up earlier to make time for being with God. If I truly wanted to nurture these children, I had to be fed and guided by Him. That couldn't happen without some time alone with Him. I had 20 minutes that could be spent on sleep or time with Him. I wanted time with Him more.
Recent life has taught me that sometimes life circumstances define our choices. Or, as God puts it, "The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9. Mike's stroke has me spending enormous time blocks on areas I would never choose--paperwork, therapy, the "man" jobs of the house. Yet, how I carry these out--emotionally, spiritually, physically--brings concreteness to the choice I made 30 years ago to be with Mike for better or worse till death parted us. I'm now spending my time keeping that promise. That's a legacy I want to leave.
As home schoolers our plates are so full. It's easy to go from one thing to the next. Yet, how we spend our time defines our lives. We won't just find time for the important. If we aren't accomplishing what we want--we must invest time differently.
Meanwhile, as we intentionally focus on where our time goes--we might just discover our passing moments really do live out the important. It's hard to anticipate how big choices will look day-to-day. When we intentionally examine our time and find we are living the priorities, we can thank God that the limits on time affirm that we are following His plan for our steps.
Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.
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