Resolutions for a Healthy Marriage

Home schooling families tend to be great goal setters. We set goals for our academics, for our children's spiritual growth, and for our co-ops. In all this we juggle so much. Home, school, church, extra curricular activities, work--sometimes in all this our marriages can get a little lost. As the new year dawns, we enjoy a great opportunity to put our goal-setting skills to work for the most important human relationship we have. If you'd like to set some goals for growing your marriage in the coming year, consider these:
Resolutions for a healthy marriage:

•  Resolve to learn spouse's love language and specifically say I love you in their love language at least once a day. What are "love languages"? Check out Gary Chapman's great book--The Five Love Languages. Whether you put a note in their lunch (words of affirmation) or fill the gas tank before they have an early morning start (acts of service)--you'll communicate your love in a way your spouse receives best. That builds spouse's sense of security in your love.

• Resolve to say only "that which builds others up." Find ways to express what your spouse does right, how they minister to you, and what you enjoy about them. As you focus on affirming all your spouse does for you, you build a foundation of security and joy for your marriage. At the same time, your conversations over the year will likely also include saying things that express concern, hurt, or anger about something spouse is doing. Even those thoughts should be expressed in a way to build spouse up, not tear them down. Make whatever divides you the enemy--not your spouse.

• Resolve to listen to whatever spouse says and take seriously--even if you disagree with the conclusions. Treat spouse's feelings, experiences, and desires as real, valuable, and important. 

• Resolve to spend one-on-one time with spouse doing something fun at least twice per month. Memories and connections created during fun times together help carry through hard times. Whether you picnic on the living room floor or splurge on a fun weekend get-away, invest your time, money, and focus on being with and enjoying your spouse.

• Resolve to pray diligently for your spouse every day. Great book for wives--The Power of a Praying Wife. Gives topical prayers as focus for praying for husbands. I don't know of equivalent for husbands, but do know that a wife senses when a husband prays for her. Prayer can bridge any gap by opening your relationship to the mighty working of God and His desire to build deep intimacy between you. Make this a priority, and you will see the work of God in your relationship.

May 2013 be a year when you are blessed in your marriage and the witness of your faithful, sacrificial love for each other witnesses to the greater love of Christ.
Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.