Why Doesn't My Discipline Work?!

What frustrates you most as a parent?

For me--disciplining the same behavior over. . .and over. . .and over. I often find myself saying, "Are we here again?!"

Why can't my children simply learn the lesson? Why can't they just do what I say? They know this misbehavior gets them in trouble.

They also know it hurts--their friends, their siblings, and me. Why are they so willing to keep doing something that causes such harm?

I have a feeling God asks the same questions when it comes to me.

Why am I so willing to keep doing the very actions God has already convicted my heart of being hurtful and wrong? Why do I keep growing anxious when a bill comes instead of trusting God's provision? Why do I keep pulling back from a person who hurt me instead of fully forgiving and embracing? Why do I keep thinking controlling others through anger will get me what I want instead of bathing them in love? I see God's frustration reflected in mine.

As I pray for discernment, God whispers part of the answer. "Dear one, your children are made in my image. Made to reflect me. All My attributes are part of their make-up. Their ability to reason reflects My omniscience. Their compassion reflects My love. Their innate sense of right and wrong reflects My righteousness. All of these have been perverted through sin, but my attributes are in your children. Waiting to be redeemed.

My immutability is there as well. I never change. Thus, change comes slowly in My children. Though I work in your life and your children's lives to tease out the sin and reform you fully into My image--this aspect of My character in you makes the job harder."

Wow. What a challenge. And what hope. Even in our ongoing disobedience, we find our identity in God. God works to redeem everything that has been perverted by sin and restore it to His fullness and glory. Thus, God will change my sinful patterns that seem to last so long into patterns of obedience that will last.

He works the same in my children.

Discipline does work--it just takes time. Through our discipline, God restores the attributes of Himself placed in our children at their creation back to a proper reflection of Himself. God's perverted immutability in our children makes disciplining harder, more long-term. Yet, His immutability in them redeemed leads to faithfulness, to perseverance, to steadfastness--to patterns of obedience that last.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you are interested in bringing Tess to your home school or church group, learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.