The Finish Line

Though schedules vary, many home schoolers close the school year in May. For some, May becomes a light at the end of the long tunnel. For others, it looms as the blinding flash of a freight train hurtling toward them. However we see it--May is a finish line. How will we run the end of the race?

Because Mike's stroke has impacted every level of life, this hasn't been a stellar school year for the Worrell school. Appointments, hospitalizations, long family conversations about how life has changed have all robbed time for school.

We are not alone. Many families cope with a variety of life situations which means the math page or the history test simply doesn't get completed. The mounting pile of undone can create the freight train image.

Some throw in the towel and check out other options for next year. Though home schooling is one of the fastest growing education modes in the United States, it also claims one of the highest drop-out rates. Overwhelmed families simply find another school when May looks too daunting.

There's another way to see May. There's another way to finish.

See all of life as an education--not just the books. Our family has missed far too many assignments this year. I know that. At the same time, my children have partaken of ample practice to work together to make meals while I've traveled with Mike. With fewer hands available for more work, older children taught younger children--not only math and science--but how to manage the trash chores, empty the dishwasher, and feed the chickens. They've learned to make acquaintances with strangers in a variety of hospital settings. They've learned to talk through anger, disappointment, and grief. They've learned what it means to pray and then experience that void of delay while waiting on God to answer.

The difficulty I have coming up with each step to a Geometric proof reminds me that Geometric proofs don't typically enter the flow of daily life.

But, our children will cook. They will face moments where there is more work than time. They will build relationships. They will experience grief. They will wait on God. Our children have spent the last year learning how to do each of these. That's education, too. Perhaps the education God knew they needed most.

As you face May, don't dwell on all you didn't get done. Look at--make a list of--all God has taught your family this year. Have a year end celebration of these facets of your school. That tradition alone can transition May from a freight train to a light at the end of a tunnel.

Set your goals. "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:14-15. What does God want you to complete? Forget all the undone that is behind and press on toward that.

I realized that we could not finish everything by May. And we have obligations that mean school past May won't work. So, what does God want us to do?

For the first time in 14 years, we won't finish our science. I determined that Dr. Wile is such an incredible teacher that 14 modules of Chemistry is enough for any high schooler. By closing our science year, I made room for the high schoolers to concentrate on likewise finishing well in history and writing--two subjects that received less time and attention throughout the year. Given God has given them a passion to be writers--that seems God's goal. I've set a time-table to meet that goal well.

Where does He want your attention? Set specific goals and then create steps to get there. Just having a plan turns dread to a sense of control. Further, we refocus everyone on the point that we are engaging in this whole home schooling endeavor--not to just check subjects off a chart--but to follow God's call in Christ Jesus. Our home schooling becomes the laboratory where children learn to listen to God in a specific time and place and press on toward the goal He sets.

Despite all appearances, take heart--the end of the year is not a freight train. If you choose to press on and finish well, the end of the year becomes a celebration of all God has done in your family this year. The light at the end of the tunnel burns bright. Waiting there, carrying you there, is your Lord.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you are interested in bringing Tess to your home school or church group, learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

Why Doesn't My Discipline Work?!

What frustrates you most as a parent?

For me--disciplining the same behavior over. . .and over. . .and over. I often find myself saying, "Are we here again?!"

Why can't my children simply learn the lesson? Why can't they just do what I say? They know this misbehavior gets them in trouble.

They also know it hurts--their friends, their siblings, and me. Why are they so willing to keep doing something that causes such harm?

I have a feeling God asks the same questions when it comes to me.

Why am I so willing to keep doing the very actions God has already convicted my heart of being hurtful and wrong? Why do I keep growing anxious when a bill comes instead of trusting God's provision? Why do I keep pulling back from a person who hurt me instead of fully forgiving and embracing? Why do I keep thinking controlling others through anger will get me what I want instead of bathing them in love? I see God's frustration reflected in mine.

As I pray for discernment, God whispers part of the answer. "Dear one, your children are made in my image. Made to reflect me. All My attributes are part of their make-up. Their ability to reason reflects My omniscience. Their compassion reflects My love. Their innate sense of right and wrong reflects My righteousness. All of these have been perverted through sin, but my attributes are in your children. Waiting to be redeemed.

My immutability is there as well. I never change. Thus, change comes slowly in My children. Though I work in your life and your children's lives to tease out the sin and reform you fully into My image--this aspect of My character in you makes the job harder."

Wow. What a challenge. And what hope. Even in our ongoing disobedience, we find our identity in God. God works to redeem everything that has been perverted by sin and restore it to His fullness and glory. Thus, God will change my sinful patterns that seem to last so long into patterns of obedience that will last.

He works the same in my children.

Discipline does work--it just takes time. Through our discipline, God restores the attributes of Himself placed in our children at their creation back to a proper reflection of Himself. God's perverted immutability in our children makes disciplining harder, more long-term. Yet, His immutability in them redeemed leads to faithfulness, to perseverance, to steadfastness--to patterns of obedience that last.

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you are interested in bringing Tess to your home school or church group, learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

More Taking It To Heart

I wasn't yet a mother when I first heard of the 'Terrible Two's'.  I have to tell you I was really troubled by the term.  It wasn't that I feared what would befall our household when we, Lord willing, would have a two-year-old of our own.  No, it was the fact that the term was being used in the very presence of the two-year-old personages being described in such terms.

What must the little ones have thought?  Maybe I'm in the minority, but I've always been inclined to think that our little ones comprehend far more that we often realize.  I determined then and there never to use the term to describe children, in or out of a child's presence.

And I determined that, if, Lord willing, we should be blessed with a two-year-old, we should refer to that year as the 'Treasured Two's' instead.

Granted, there are particular days with children, or even phases of life, which may present more challenges, shall we say, than others.  But it's amazing how much our own attitudes can affect the entire atmosphere of our home and imprint permanent messages on young hearts.  Even in the context of challenges, the valuing of our relationships should never diminish.

It's in this context that today I am 'taking it to heart'  (as I wrote about in a previous post titled The House of Mourning--Taking It To Heart).  None of us knows just how many days we will have on this earth, but the number is indeed finite.  The question becomes, then, as we take that to heart, "What do I most want my children to remember?"

Will their memories of preschool days be of a mommy who was continually checking her watch to see how many minutes were left to 'endure' until nap time, when her relief would surely come?   Or will their memories be of a mommy who obviously treasured each moment her children were awake, openly grateful for the sweet conversations and chances to pour truth into their little hearts and minds?

Will the children who attend school outside the home hear their mommy singing 'It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year' when she can't wait to get them out of the house at the start of each school year?  (I've actually heard this.)  Or will their mommy be even more excited than they are for a school-cancelled snow day to spend together?  (Thankfully, I've seen this, too!)

Are our homeschooled children conscious that we are just checking off a list of stuff that must be done together for school?  Or do they know that their mama, though exhausted at times, would gladly choose their life of learning together over anything else she might be doing with her time?

In the context of what I want my children to remember, what should I be communicating? How should I be saying it?  By what actions?  How often?  In what tone?  How does what I want my children to remember translate into daily practicalities?

Yes, indeed, the living takes it to heart. . .

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Taking Jesus' Crown

"They put a purple robe on Him and twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on Him. And they began to call out, to Him 'Hail, King of the Jews!' Again and again they struck Him on the head with a staff and spit on Him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to Him. And when they had mocked Him they took off the purple robe and put His own clothes on Him."

Mark 15:17-20

Every Lent our family uses Resurrection Eggs by Family Life Today to bring the Easter story to life in concrete terms. The eggs contain symbols of Easter. We read a passage of scripture pertaining to that symbol ending with a lesson we should take away. Whenever we get to the egg with the crown of thorns, we explore the cruelty of the soldiers toward a man they didn't know and who had done nothing to them. The lesson we take away: "If we love Jesus, we cannot hurt others."

What an ideal. If we love Jesus, we cannot hurt others.

If we love Jesus, we cannot race to get to the check-out line before the lady with the bulging grocery cart. If we love Jesus, we can't answer sarcastically a spouse who hasn't responded as we desired. If we love Jesus, we can't rudely ignore a family member who has hurt us deeply. If we love Jesus, we can't yell at our children when they fail to obey. If we love Jesus, we show others the same love He showed from the cross.

As we learn this lesson--live this lesson--our children learn this lesson. What better Easter tradition could we pass along?

Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you are interested in bringing Tess to your home school or church group, learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.

Worthy of Our Time

"How sweet are Your words to my taste!

Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

The sum of Your word is truth."

Psalm 119:103, 160a

About ten years ago, we had just moved to a new community and were visiting churches, looking for a new church home.  I walked into the four-year-old class to pick up our son when I looked across the room to see him standing in the midst of some kind of dispute; I supposed it was over some toy.  I arrived just in time to hear him say to the other children, "Don't you know what the Bible says?  'Do everything without complaining or arguing!'"  Seriously, that's what he said.  I knew exactly where that came from, and, if any of you have had the pleasure of listening to or watching the Steve Green Hide 'Em in Your Heart Bible Memory songs on CD or DVD, you know, too.

Over the years, our family has certainly reaped blessings from memorizing Scripture, yet I am both firmly convinced and convicted that we still don't do it enough.  God tells us we should know His Word, and I'm sure He knows far more about the benefits for us than we've ever comprehended.  Looking back in our family, one benefit is that, even at a very early age, our children had an internal guide to godly behavior, based on memorized Scripture, even before they more fully understood the theological reasons.  Did it guide their behavior all the time?  No.  Of course, our children weren't perfect, but Scripture was being laid down as the authority and a foundation worthy of building a life upon.  Filling up their little heads and hearts with Biblical truth is the kind of start Deuteronomy 6 is talking about.

The words and the images we take in do leave permanent impressions.  They shape the way we will think and act for the rest of our lives.  From a human perspective, Scripture has an impact at least equal to anything else we internalize.  Far beyond that, it is the supernatural Word of God and has God's power behind it to transform lives.  It's one thing to read it, but it gets woven so much more deeply into the very fiber of who we are when we commit it to memory.

So, why do we memorize so little of God's Word, especially as adults?  Why is it that children have 'memory verse' assignments, but adults rarely do?  We can use busyness as an excuse, or the handy aging brain/declining memory line, but I seriously doubt God is buying it.  What kind of message are we communicating to our children about the value of God's Word?

Recently, I learned that someone we know had just finished memorizing the entire book of Romans.  Yes, the entire book.  I was absolutely flabbergasted.  Then I was sorely convicted.  I memorized the book of James once, but that was more than twenty years ago.  The more I thought about it, the more I, then, became inspired to seek Him even more earnestly through His Word, renewing my devotion to committing much more of it to memory.

But what if memorizing doesn't come as easily as we'd like, or as easily as it used to?  We are told by Jesus that if we pray according to His will, that we will have what we ask.  So how about praying for God's enabling to memorize His Word?  That's clearly His will.

When Vera, our adopted daughter, first came from the orphanage, she had trouble memorizing anything.  She confessed to us that, when she was at the orphanage school, she would feign illness and escape to the infirmary rather than attempt to give a presentation before her class of something she was to have memorized.  Maybe she just wasn't capable of memorizing anything?  One could make lots of excuses for an orphan who'd been the victim of less than optimal brain stimulating opportunities.

Instead, we decided to believe God.  Even though she had a terrible time memorizing anything in the past, we prayed for her to be able to memorize Bible verses.  We should not have been surprised at the result.  Yes, she can memorize Scripture, and lots of other things, too, now.

Are you content with the way things have been?  Will you believe God with me?  Let's ask Him to enable us to hide more of His Word in our hearts!

And May He use His Word in our hearts to shape our hearts--and our actions--to be more and more like His!

"Your testimonies are wonderful;

Therefore my soul observes them.

...My heart stands in awe of Your words"

Psalm 119:129, 161b

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.


Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means--including writing music, speaking, and blogging--to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you'll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her 'theme song' titled Captain's Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.